Her: No, don’t promise me that because you don’t know yet what it’s like to stay with me. You are not aware of my mood swings, of how often I degrade myself or blame myself for being left behind all the time. You have not been exposed to my dark side, that side of me which eats up all the happiness I am bound to feel, that side of me which leaves me empty and hollow inside every night. You don’t know how depressed I am, or how often I struggle to not become a burden to the few people who managed to stay even if it hurts them, even if it’s hard. I am a difficult person to deal with. I mess everything up every time. I shut people out. I push them away. So stop telling me all those promises because even I get tired of myself sometimes. What kind of assurance can you guarantee me that you won’t?
“If there’s one thing that I wish I learned from the start, it is how I could write about my feelings whenever I am experiencing bliss. It has always been about thunder storms but I have never written about a calm blue sky. It has always been about cold winter nights but I have never written about how beautiful the flowers are on the first day of spring. It has always been about the darkness of the night and how the stars look so sad when they knew they could not grant my wishes but I have never written about how glorious the sunrise looks like and how it could give me another chance to make my wishes come true. It has always been about how my 3am thoughts ruin my being but I have never written about how I had a good laugh with my friends at 3pm. It has always been about how my heart shattered into the very last piece but I have never written about the music that it creates as it beats continuously. Those who have read my words see me as a girl who is always blue, I guess it is time to paint more colors in it.”
I don’t want you to leave . Will you hold my hand… You’re all I need
I am grateful to those people who manage to ask me how I am doing in spite of their busy schedule but I am more glad to those people who have the guts to tell me straight to my face that I should stop lying because it is so crystal clear in my eyes that I am not okay and everything were messed up. All I want is someone that could listen to me, to all of my rants, my regrets to every stupid decisions and wrong moves I made but wouldn’t judge me anyway after hearing everything because they simply empathizes and that, won’t just tell me that everything will be alright but instead, will willingly offer their shoulder so that I could cry because they know that I badly need it and just let me burst all the hatred and will just sit there by my side, might not say anything but won’t surely make me feel that I am alone because they are there for me through their presence.
“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.”
Minsan darating ka talaga sa punto na hindi mo alam yung nararamdaman mo. Hindi mo alam kung ano dahilan, kung sino ba o ano ba. Hindi mo maintindihan kung ano ba talaga nangyayari sayo. May bigat, may lungkot, may biglang pagbabago. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko maintindihan. Pero ang tanging nararamdaman mo lang yung biglang pananahimik ng puso.
“May mga bagay na kahit gusto mo, kailangan mong bitawan. May mga tao na kahit na napapasaya ka ay kailangan iwasan. May mga desisyon na dapat gawin kahit napipilitan. At may mga pagkakataon na kapag ginawa mo ang tama, ikaw ang mahihirapan dahil may mga bagay na kapag pinagpilitan, sa huli, mayron paring masasaktan.”
Hi I'm Darlene! But pwede niyo kong tawaging ''Darna". Rock Star at heart. Music Lover. Tobby's Mum. 16years on earth, blow candles every 3rd of July. Believes in happily ever after and life itself is the most wonderful fairytale. ♥ I'm a dreamer,a YENGSTER:)
This is my personal blog. Here, I post about my personal thoughts & feelings. Here I share every page of my book of life. This will serve as my online diary <3